Form Follows Fitness

Scott Taylor —  January 5, 2012 — 14 Comments

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The Modular Man (with a weight problem)

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When asked what my New Year’s resolutions were going to be this year I had to think about it for a few minutes.

Before I start committing myself to a bunch of things I’m not going to end up doing this year I thought I’d start with a tally of the accomplished resolutions from last year.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t remember any of them.

Every year we (and yes I’m pulling you into this now) snuggle down into our burrow of comfortability and completely forget about all of the great aspirations and goals we had ambitiously set at the beginning of the year. I usually start off every year with good intentions, focus on them for a few months … then waiver a little in the middle … then summer rolls around and there are pool parties and bbqs … fall sneaks up on me, then it’s the holidays and before you know it … I’m back at square one. No resolutions accomplished.

New Years day is the time when we should all take a step back, evaluate our lives, and realize just how much potential we have. Instead, most of us wake up at 3:00pm, eat a slice of cold pizza, and then watch that Kardashians marathon we’ve been saving up to watch for the last 3 weeks (don’t tell me what happens to Kim and Chris…I haven’t gotten to that episode yet!!).

I realized that maybe I should ring in the new year by getting fit.  Maybe I could eat a little better, take the dogs on a run a little more often and get back in the gym instead of watching the P90X infomercial as a substitute for working out (that post infomercial stretch is really important. Also, don’t forget your post workout recovery drink … Mountain Dew).

I got married this past year and found myself on the ever prevalent phase known as the “post-honeymoon diet”. This is the period that precedes the wedding – where you are supposedly in the best shape of your life – and you move on to the honeymoon phase where you throw out all dietary discretion, eat like a pig for a week and lay around on the beach until your butt gets sunburned (you know what I’m talking about). Fortunately, there are the lucky few who are able to regain their self control, but for the rest of us, it’s a steep uphill battle over chocolate covered donuts and chicharrones.

With my increasing self image issues I’ve started to notice the amount of home gym equipment commercials that start airing this time of year. These commercials are on day and night advertising home gyms, stretchy rubber band thingies and pushup bars all while being hocked by celebrities, athletes and 60 year old men that look like they’re 25.  This is a no holds barred attempt to make you feel insecure about your body in the hopes that you’ll pick up the phone (and with 4 easy payments (plus S&H) you too can own a pile of steel and rubber crap that will take up the space in the closet where you use to store your luggage (or for the architects out there, the place where you use to store your college architecture models and/or design magazines). So this got me thinking… are there any fitness machines out there that could be left out in the living room and not be an eyesore?  Better yet, is there anything on the market designed by an architect? Would an architect ever have any inclination of attempting to be physically fit to begin with (which is another stereotype that has not been reserved for the architectural profession…see beards of an architect)?

What types of home workout equipment would STARchitects design?

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Mies van der Rohe "Barcelona Bench Press"

Mies Van Der Rohe “Barcelona Bench Press”

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Zaha Hadid "ThighMaster"

Zaha Hadid “Thigh/NURBS Master”

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 Tadao Ando "Cast-in-place concrete free weights"

Tadao Ando “Cast-in-place Concrete Free Weights”

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Frank Gehry "Titanium Clad Home Gym"

Frank Gehry “Titanium Clad Home Gym (with fish attachment)”

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Lebbeus Woods "Leg Extension"

Lebbeus Woods “Leg Extension (please don’t sue me)”

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Charles and Ray Eames “Molded Plywood Exercise Ball”

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Michael Graves designed toilet plungers that Target mass produced … does it really seem that ridiculous to have STARchitect designed fitness equipment? Obviously, you’ll never see any of these in your local sport supply store but in the future, you might want to double check that Design Within Reach catalog.

And remember, don’t forget your post blog reading recovery drink …

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– Scott

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  • Anonymous

    Nice logo, ST.

    • Scott Taylor

      Thanks man.
      I have been enjoying your updates on doodlesandblooms.

  • http://funandfit.org/ AlexandraFunFit

    I thought I was reading one of Bob’s posts until I got to the part about being a newlywed. Double take! As a fitness professional, this post cracks me up. And I think all these tools have been invented along the way, mostly as torture devices. We are in the middle of a January challenge to do 6,347 push-ups to honor all those who were killed in action. Care to join us? It’s about 212 a day, although you’d have to catch up.

    • Scott Taylor

      Sounds like a great cause.  Instead of 212 push-ups a day can I spread those out over 10 days?

  • Fiddleheadgirl

    I am in love with you! 

  • Anonymous

    I’m not going to say that Bob is batting anything less than a 1000 with his posts but you are 2 for 2. Great post! I would like to see treadmill designed by Koolhass…

    • Scott Taylor

      Ha, I was thinking about Koolhaas but then I remembered that in true OMA fashion I’d have to spend at least a 1-1/2 years doing research before I could start on any sketches….check back with me next summer and I might have something mocked up.

  • http://twitter.com/builderforlife Marcus Taylor

    Scott, I can see where the confusion arose, you see no architect has ever set foot inside a gym, unless of course they glimpsed all the chrome and leather through the window and stumbled in mistakenly thinking it was a hipster hair salon. Frankly I dont feel you should encourage the profession to design against type, so how about a nice range of latte cups with matching spoons?
    All the best, builderforlife.

  • http://twitter.com/pcrickard Paul Crickard

    This is awesome. Besides being funny as hell, the sketches are GREAT!

  • diego
  • ARCHcowboy

    with your title, I thought you were going to mention this…

    http://www.formfollowsfitness.com

    could be a good solution for running the dogs

    • Scott Taylor

      Ha…that is a total coincidence… nevertheless, a great combination of architecture and getting exercise.  If you’re a runner and hate the heat in Texas I highly suggest the Diller Scofidio + Renfro “Blur Treadmill” (soon to be released).

  • http://twitter.com/Splintergirl Amy Good

    Oh my word!  I belly laughed over the home gym, complete with fish attachment…too funny!

    I do agree, though, that we all need to be better about being realistic with ideals of change.  Maybe we as a group hold each other accountable?  Oh…an good luck with that honeymoon period…it’s been just over 3 years for me and it took just under 3 years to remove that “fluff”.

  • Anonymous

    So wait the Barcelona Bench Press isn’t what’s already at my gym?