Urinals are dirty

February 17, 2011 — 21 Comments

Last week I was in Spain courtesy of  the Association of Ceramic Tile Manufacturers of Spain (ASCER), a group who promote the general and common interests of the ceramic industry. While I was there, I saw some stuff. Why I’m telling you, I’m not sure.

[Scene: tapas bar – Valencia, Spain]

Me: (thinking to myself) I wonder why all the dudes seem to be going into the bathroom so often. What’s in there? Well, this is Europe, maybe there’s an espresso bar in there or something? Hhmmm, look at that guy … that’s like the 3rd time he’s gone in there! OK, that does it, I gotta find out whats going on. I’m going in!

[entering men’s toilet room]

Me: (thinking to myself) Good Lord! Look at those urinals! OMG OMG OMG!! Are those wings? Those are totally wings. Why are there wings? Is it supposed to look like that? I mean, of course it’s supposed to look like that but did they mean for it to look like … (looking around and whispering to myself) … a labia!? I think I might be embarrassed if other dudes saw me sliding up to that and putting my crotch in there. That is totally a lady part. How could quality control miss something like that? Maybe that’s the point, I mean, if you’re going to open your pants up and slide all up on a urinal I suppose this is a pretty good shape.

(takes a step back and tilts head to one side, squinting eyes)  it seems kind of big ….


So I return to the bar and I ask a local person about the urinal:

Me: Hey, what’s up? So have you seen the urinal’s? I mean, I know you have, I’ve seen you go into the toilet room like 3 times already.

Spaniard: What!?!

Me: I mean, not that I’m watching you or anything. See, I’m an architect and we tend to be pretty observant.

Spaniard: Who are you again?

Me: So, the toilet room. You know … the urinals. (knowing wink). Right?

Spaniard: Yes, I’ve used the urinals here. Why are you talking to me?

Me: I’ve seen them too and I get it. (whispering) I know what it is. That’s right – I know stuff. I’m observant so the joke isn’t on me.

Spaniard: I have no idea what you are talking about.

Me: You know … the urinals. Ha! I mean, yeah, uhmm, because they look … like … phfrrttt! C’mon! You going to make me say it?

Spaniard: (puzzled look)

Me: (leaning in, raised eyebrows, hopeful face)

Spaniard: (leaning back, cautious face)

Me: Seriously!? (whispering) I know why you use the urinals here

Spaniard: What?

Me: Yeah, it’s because the urinals look like … that part down (waving hand in circular motion around vicinity of crotch). Shaazowww! Lady parts!

Spaniard: ???

Me: You use the urinals a lot because? …….. because???

Spaniard: Because I drink a lot? Is that what you are trying to say?


Me: Tooootally what I was trying to say. Totally.



So if you want some lady-parts shaped urinals for your next project, these were made by Roca. Despite how I amused myself, as far as urinals go these were really, really nice. Or is it just me?



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  • Emily

    That conversation was not with a Spaniard. That was me.
    Have another Bob!

  • Anonymous

    Thats one sexy urinal!

  • D3ArchStudio

    Maybe if they made lavatories look like breasts more guys would wash their hands after using the urinals…

  • jbushkey

    Thanks for reinforcing the notion that men never mature past 13 🙂

  • ha! :~) . . . it does squarely touch on the ceramic industry, I think. great post!

  • Ray-Lee,
    as owner and author of this site, I maintain my right to take whatever liberties I see fit for my own amusement. It’s what happens when you have an overactive creative mind, you take liberties.

    I do need another vacation, maybe I need to spend more time up front tempering my liver before I go on these trips.

    I’d look out for a hugging urinal, your comment took my post and turned it up to 11. Well played.

  • Jeezuz! What were you drinking… the splash guards look like labia? Stay away from whatever they gave you to drink, it isn’t for you.

  • Anonymous

    You need another vacation after that one…and in the USA, with no drinking, no using the bathroom, no looking down. Of course we’re soooooo using these on the next project.

  • A urinal that gives you a hug, nice!

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  • Jeremiah


    That’s about all I got. Awesome post!

    • hope it was the same sort of distraction for you as it was for me. (the puns for this post could write themselves)

  • stijn

    I’m from Europe, and never made the connection. Now that you mention it, yes, I can see it, but it’s still not striking. Not sure about the title of the post though. Urinals can be dirty of course, but the word seems a bit tricky to me given the object of comparison. Or is the use of the word ‘dirty’ perfectly common and acceptable in the context of anything associated with procreation?

    • Interesting reaction. I was simply going for some word play with the title and until you mentioned it, I didn’t actually think of procreation once.

      Thanks for commenting – cheers