Jody: ooo.. I’m inside Bob’s blog! I’m going to add some widgets now!!
Bob: if I had a dollar for every time someone new got excited about being all up inside my “blog” I could open my own free clinic. So this is the 5th and final card to complete your Architect Bingo set – just in time for the Holidays. I’ve asked fellow “wordsmith” Jody Brown from Coffee with an Architect to sit in with me and banter through the advanced players only bonus bingo card since I selected the words for this last card based on Jody’s writing and he was the inspiration that got me to prepare this 5th card.
The premise of this “grown-ups” only (sorry kids) advanced Architect Bingo card is that you play it during a party when a bunch of your architect cronies get together. Every time you hear one of these words, you must “hydrate”. We all know how this works, yeah? I mean … I don’t, but I’ve read scientific journals so I am extrapolating here for purely for your benefit.
Are you ready to do this Jody?
Jody: if I had a dollar every time someone asked me THAT. Of course, it’s usually followed by a chest bump. Can we chest bump, Bob? ….Why are you so tall?
Never mind, let’s DO this.
Here is the fifth of scotch round of words for you to memorize:
Angst: a feeling of anxiety, apprehension or insecurity
Bob: I’ve heard of that but only before I take my pants off *double tongue click with pistol fingers* – well, not insecurity, you know … apprehension, it’s like … ha! uh, yeah – you know? … never mind
Jody: : I don’t think angst is the word you’re looking for. Unless you have a deep abiding fear of not being talented enough to re-establish a sense of community with an elegantly detailed base trim reveal somewhere in your pants.
Prague: a city in the Czech Republic, located on the Vltava River
Bob: I had 37 lobster dinners for $1.93 last time I was in Prague
Jody: I think I may have a doppelgänger who lives under a bridge in Prague. His name is Vlad. He had a difficult childhood, the war was hard on his family, now he consoles himself with Kafka and Borscht. Wait a minute … am I the doppelgänger?
Despair: to lose all hope of confidence
Jody: Why are you looking at me? I haven’t lost ALL hope yet, and confidence and I have always been on slightly unstable ground. Things are looking up, though. I actually found a dollar today. It was stuck to the soft underside of my fading American dream. Next to my 401K.
Bob: What’s a 401K? I actually worked with a guy not to long ago who (and I’m totally serious here) advised me to liquidate all my assets, buy silver coins and hide them in a box behind my washing machine … in the wall (true). That guy was Frank Gehry. dun dun dunnnn (not true)
Trend: to extend in a general direction : follow a general course
Jody: Kinda like “drafting” in NASCAR.
Bob: “NASCAR”? Am I going to judge you for that reference? Mm-hmm … yes, a lil’ bit. Didn’t take that one where I thought you would.
Turtleneck: a high close-fitting turnover collar used especially for sweaters
Bob: I am not a fan of the turtleneck but at least it’s better than the mock turtleneck; you have to commit
Jody: True, Mock-turtle necks are for Journalist, or English Majors. You graduate to the full turtle-neck after years of hard drinking labor. It also covers excessive neck fat – just sayin.
Tired: drained of strength and energy : fatigued often to the point of exhaustion
Jody: I should seriously get some exercise. Architects sit a lot, we’ve really let ourselves go. Sooo, tomorrow morning I’m getting up early, putting on my one-piece full-body-skin-tight-black-speedo and I’m hitting the pool at the local YWCA. I’m doing butterfly-flappy laps until my thighs burn and my neck- fat starts to .… hey, is that a donut?
Bob: Shouldn’t that be the YMCA? There are so many creepy things in your response I’m just going to slowly back away … hey, a donut!
Coffee: a beverage made by percolation, infusion, or decoction from the roasted and ground seeds of a coffee plant
Bob: I can’t drink coffee, you might as well call it “super-extreme immediate laxative”.
Jody: You do know, you don’t have to tell us everything, right? A lady should keep a little mystery.
Minimalism: a style or technique (as in music, literature, or design) that is characterized by extreme sparseness and simplicity
Bob:I don’t know why they had to say “extreme” sparseness – makes it sound like there’s a point when the objective is reached and to achieve Minimalism, you have to take it just that much further. I’m going to go look up extreme.
Jody: A great man once told me “hey, you probably shouldn’t pick at that”
Opinion: view, judgment, or appraisal formed in the mind about a particular matter
Bob: my cup runneth over with opinions, nothing worse than a designer without an opinion. Well, maybe one that doesn’t understand gravity – that would be worse.
Jody: Gravity’s a hard temptress, and she really doesn’t seem to understand the sheer awesomeness of my designs. She’s “sorta” holding me back Bob.
Sorta: urban colloquialism, slang for “sort of”
Jody: you mean like getting useful information from reading a blog? meh.
Bob: What? Is that a shot at Life of an Architect? Do you not remember the instructional I made of how to properly shoot a rubber band? That’s exactly the sort of hard-hitting journalism people are looking for in an architectural blog –
Sketch: a rough drawing representing the chief features of an object or scene and often made as a preliminary study
Bob: On serious note, people need to learn how to sketch, it’s not a gift it’s a skill
Jody: Or perhaps it’s a poorly thought out comedy repartee between 2 (possibly fictional) Architects who obviously have way too much time on their hands. Suck on that 30-rock.
Black: reflecting or transmitting little or no light
Bob: If you are planning on being an architect, 70% of your wardrobe must be black – mandatory. The other 30% can be made up of white underwear. I suppose you could have some gray but that should only be worn on laundry day when your washing all the black and white stuff … and you can’t be seen in public in the gray. Or is it grey? … I’ve changed my mind, no gray/grey allowed.
Jody: I think it’s gray. That’s closer to gravy. Delicious Delicious gravy. Thank Gawd black is sliming.
Consultant: one who gives professional advice or services
Jody: wait. Are those the guys slowly taking away what’s left of the “work” in our profession?
Economy: efficient and concise use of nonmaterial resources (as effort, language, or motion)
Jody: Alright, I didn’t want to bring this up, but what is the average word-count per post on this blog? 8,576,546,789,123 plus or minus “get-to-point-already-and-wrap-this-thing-up-the-Mentalist-is-starting-soon-and-I-gotta-see-a-man-about-a-horse.”
Bob: You watch a lot of TV don’t you? Not me (yes I do – I love TV) I am busy getting the word count of this blog up to 8 trillion words per post – as if…
Entourage: one’s attendants or associates
Bob: I like this word – a lot. I have associates fo sho’ so they will now be referred to as my entourage. Since this is Architect Bingo, pretty sure the definition was supposed to be about drawing plants, cars, people and such into drawings but I’d rather think about having attendants – you should get one when you pass the architectural licensing exam! Could they make it an engineer? They are supposed to do what you tell them to do right?
Jody: : Isn’t an entourage the group of arms-crossed Archi-thugs standing behind T-square (the former Architect and 80s rapper)?
Haiku: an unrhymed verse form of Japanese origin having three lines containing usually five, seven, and five syllables respectively
Jody: We have wasted time – Taken for granted patience – And strained without point
Bob: Once a good idea – it’s now late into the night – sleep would be better
Ideas: a transcendent entity that is a real pattern of which existing things are imperfect representations
Jody: Holy crap, is that what ideas are? I have totally been using that one wrong. I thought it had something to do with bacteria, or longing.
Bob: People are always giving me a quarter and telling me to go get an idea. Do you know how hard it is to find an imperfect representation of a transcendent entity for a quarter? That’s totally stupid … but I’m keeping the quarters
Architect: a person who designs buildings and advises in their construction
Jody: That sounds easier than it is doesn’t it? And, who are we advising? Is it that tall dark figure behind you with the sickle and the chess board? Why doesn’t he have a face Bob? Why?
Bob: Not only does it sound easy, that definition is almost cavalier – an architect? (hand in air making a circling motion) Oh, he does a bit of this and that…
Orson Welles: an American filmmaker, actor, director, etc noted for his innovative dramatic productions as well as his distinctive voice and personality
Jody: Ooo Ooo, I totally love Orson Welles. Did you see him in that thing with the cobblestones, and the sewers, and the ferris wheel, and the Nazis? That movie was like eye-candy for my lonely wine-soaked soul.
Bob: Was that all in one movie because I would totally watch that movie … until I fell asleep.
Cold: marked by a lack of the warmth of normal human emotion, friendliness, or compassion
Bob: I could have gone with a different definition but the “normal human emotion” seemed more likely to be a topic discussed during a gathering of architects.
Jody: He’s standing in the corner looking aloof and distant. Maybe he’s not an isolated bon vivant after all. Maybe he just needs a coat and a hug.
Bob: Classic Jody Brown. Is the corner in Prague and is he looking across the street as people file into the church before the funeral starts? Is he standing under the one street lamp that has a burned out bulb?
Interesting: holding the attention
: You know what was interesting? When Jody and I were in New York and he nicknamed Charlie – our host – “C-Balls”. Now THAT held my attention. Charlie was a good sport and I’m pretty sure he liked the nickname. My nickname is El Presidente – did you know that? That or Captain Awesome (here), totally your choice.
Jody: I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t do nicknames. It’s important to be precise “Robert”. Besides, why does no one ever call me “Jedi” or “Hashbrown”? why?
Bob: I am totally calling you Hashbrown from now on.
Strategy: a careful plan or method
Hashbrown: Did you see that episode of Southpark with the underpants gnomes? You know, the one where gnomes were stealing everyone’s underpants and collecting them in a big pile deep inside a cave. The lead gnome said they had a plan!, then he pulled down a big chart. It said:
Step #1: get underpants
Step #2: ?
Step #3: make money.
See? We just need to figure out step 2, and we’re all set.
Bob: I love underpants and making money! Well, what I really love is having money, I keep it inside an empty Grey Poupon jar – (I get to look at it every now and then, I keep it behind the washing machine)
Scotch: whiskey made in Scotland
Hashbrown: Sure. Single-malt, with ice. Glenlevit, Glenfiddich, Glenmorangie, Glensomething, or MacCallan, Ooo! do they have MacCallan? Just stop me at 4 ok? Did I mention that I love you man, seriously, you are the only sm-Architect I’d admit this to, but I think I rah-eally Love you man, Bob? You’re so tall, and awesome, wa? where you going?
Bob: obviously to get myself another drink – but don’t call it love, it’s something much cheaper than that isn’t it?
So there you go, the last of 5 Architect Bingo Cards – lovingly created for your amusement. To end, you know what would make me happy? Would somebody please scan in a copy of their used bingo card or send me a photo from the end of the night after playing advanced card #5 – that would so totally make me happy.
All the cards are finished – You can find them by following the links below
ps – on the advice of my crack legal team Architect Bingo©® (US Patent Pending)