You have something gross on your face

January 8, 2014 — 26 Comments

Bob: What is up Ev-ree-bod-eeeee!

Group: Hey Bob, what is goi….. eeeerghh?!

Bob: Why the look?

Group: Nothing

Bob: I know a look when I see it … and that’s a look. C’mon, what is it?

Group: Nothing (pretend scratching left side of face) … seriously, don’t worry about it. It will fall off (whispering under breath) eventually…

Bob: How can I not worry about “it” when I don’t know what “it” is?

Group: it’s just that you have ……. (long pause)

Bob: What!

Group: You have something green on your face.

Bob: Green?! Where? Is it a bug!!? (furiously wiping hands all over face)

Group: No – it’s food … hopefully. We think it’s some sort of food. Could it be spinach or something?

Bob: Spinach?!? But I haven’t eaten any spinach….

Group: It’s there – by your mouth … no, the other side, little higher, higher, lower, to the left, little RIGHT THERE! RIGHT THERE!! … (sighing) it’s on your shirt now.

You have something on your face

We have all had those types of moments where we are oblivious to something that was out of our sight, something that isn’t quite right. Maybe it’s something embarrassing … or maybe it’s something that you just perceive differently than others. I am in the middle of one of those moments right now and I am at a loss to explain it but apparently I have something disgusting and green on my face and nobody is telling me where it is. I’m not really talking about food on my face but I might as well be.

I just want someone to tell me what “it” is because I’m not seeing it. Honestly, I’ve tried. My situation has been clawing at me for the last few days so what am I going to do? In true self-absorbed fashion, I am going to give a little unsolicited advice.

You should always speak up and tell someone when they:

~ have something stuck in their teeth

~ have a stain on the back of their pants

~ their zipper is down

~ have toilet paper stuck to their shoe (or anywhere else for that matter)

~ have their dress tucked into their hose

~ have ink on their face

~ have lipstick on their teeth

~ need to (errr..) blow their nose

This is a big deal if you are the person with the thing on your face or pants – whatever. You know that you would appreciate the awkwardness someone else braved to spare you additional future embarrassment, frustration or anger. If there is a problem, it’s really better for everyone concerned to just come out and say it. In the end, it benefits everyone involved.

Cheers, and have a great “thing on your face” free day

Bob AIA signature

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  • Chase

    Last summer I was working at a firm in Houston and it was my first internship so I was trying my best to fit in. One day, I guess a bird crapped on my in the parking garage on my way into the office…so I had a nice big bird loaf on my left shoulder and NOBODY told me about it until right before l was leaving for my lunch break. It was a pretty cool feeling…but at least they told me even if it was 4 hours after I showed up

    • “a bird loaf”?

      that paints quit the picture

      • Chase


  • Jason

    If it makes you feel any better, I once visited my friend at Louis Vuitton and was chatting to her whilst she was working (I know really bad to distract someone), and I noticed that she had some spinach stuck in-between her teeth (didn’t say a thing, lol). It was so funny when walked off to serve someone and didn’t notice that she had something stuck in her teeth.. Long story short, I told her when I left and she was mad!! She told me she would get me back and boy she sure did!

  • Ann

    Yes. Worse though, is trying to tell a co-worker to stop the gross habits they display in client meetings, especially when they won’t admit or believe they do it. Like what you ask? Butt crack scratching in a loose fitting skirt, nose picking or spending too much time picking at her scalp. Luckily I work for myself now.

  • Agreed! We can always count on you for humor with a moral to the end of the story.

    • Thanks BW!

      (by the way, that’s my new nickname for you)

      • That’s cool. I’m rarely called “Bridget” by people who know me. My default nickname is Gidgey. 😀

  • Glenn

    They should really say something instead of avoiding eye contact or looking at you. (I’ve experienced this before. high school days) “booger incident”. I was kinda wondering why my teammate won’t face me while talking. Good thing my coach told me I have a “visible booger trying its best not to let go.”

    Good thing it was only me, my coach and one teammate during the conversation. (but it’s still embarrassing. kinda. annoyed by my teammate for not telling me and laughed on what my coach told me.)

    • that’s gross AND funny at the same time … at least there weren’t any girls involved at the time

      • Glenn

        that was really embarrassing even if there weren’t any girls, but i just have to laugh it off and kick my teammates ass for that so we won’t think about it later on. (and it worked. Hahahaha.)

  • Lynne Knowlton

    Not gonna lie. I’ve done all of them. I sound like a hooker of embarrassment. A hot mess. Recently, in an airport lounge, I was leaving the ladies lounge bathroom and noticed something ‘flying’ behind me. It was the paper toilet seat cover. And people wonder why I am never bored.


    • I think it’s the people around you who are never bored!


  • John Keiser

    My original comment was going to be “a slow week, eh Bob!?!”…but when reading the comments, one discovers this is a recycled post (egads…the horror!)…can we talk about the elephant in the room?!? Yes, I agree emphatically…why do people get embarrassed? Can’t tell you how many times I’ve found I had my zipper down (upon discovery) to realize all the people I undoubtably flashed to that point…it becomes more embarrassing…to me or said person! Yes…rescue that person from their embarrassment, stop worrying about your own! (Steps off soapbox)

    • Hi John,

      Every now and then, something I wrote several years ago (when few people knew this site existed) comes back into prominence. Since I am scaling back on my scheduled posting, this one was sort of a bonus for the newbies AND it allowed me to edit the original and make it slightly better (always a good thing).


      • John Keiser

        I appreciate that…longtime reader…first time commenter!

  • Kerry Hogue

    you don’t see it much any more, but “back in the day”, it was not that uncommon to put your felt tip pen in your shirt pocket with the cap on the back end, which resulted in a really hard challenge for the laundry to get the ink spot out of your shirt. And Back in the DAY, there were certain people that nobody would tell them of the gaff, thereby making the spot into much more and producing behind the back snickers. So Bob, be thankful the group felt enough about you to at least bring it to your attention. It they had not, you would realize that you are one of those “certain people”.

    • pretty sure that I am already one of “those people” although I prefer to call it “working the fringe”

  • Alexandra Williams

    Women don’t get boogies.

  • Paul Miller

    Yup. Been there. Both sides actually, it’s almost physically painful to avoid looking at that whatever it is on the other persons face until it’s gone, and continue a conversation.
    Ditto on hoping the unknown is known.

    • shudder

      foreign bodies on the face are the worst

  • KHS

    I agree you need to speak up!

    • yes – speak up (but do it softly and in private)

  • So, any advice on a chic telling her boss that his fly is down without him thinking that she was looking there on purpose?

    Hope your situation reveals itself soon, Bob….seriously.

    • Depends … were you looking there on purpose?