Bob: What is up Ev-ree-bod-eeeee!

Group: Hey Bob, what is goi….. eeeerghh?!

Bob: Why the look?

Group: Nothing

Bob: I know a look when I see it … and that’s a look. C’mon, what is it?

Group: Nothing (pretend scratching left side of face) … seriously, don’t worry about it. It will fall off (whispering under breath) eventually…

Bob: How can I not worry about “it” when I don’t know what “it” is?

Group: it’s just that you have ……. (long pause)

Bob: What!

Group: You have something green on your face.

Bob: Green?! Where? Is it a bug!!? (furiously wiping hands all over face)

Group: No – it’s food. … some sort of food. Could be spinach or something?

Bob: Spinach?!? I haven’t eaten any spinach….

Group: It’s there – by your mouth … no, the other side, little higher, higher, lower, to the left, little RIGHT THERE! RIGHT THERE!! (sighing) …. it’s on your shirt now.

We have all had those types of moments where we are oblivious to something that was out of our sight, something that isn’t quite right. Maybe it’s something embarrassing … or maybe it’s something that you just perceive differently than others. I am in the middle of one of those moments right now and I am at a loss to explain it but apparently I have something disgusting and green on my face and nobody is telling me where it is. I’m not really talking about food on my face but I might as well be.

I just want someone to tell me what “it” is because I’m not seeing it. Honestly, I’ve tried. My situation has been clawing at me for the last few days so what am I going to do? In true self-absorbed fashion, I am going to give a little unsolicited advice.

You should always speak up and tell someone when they:

have something stuck in their teeth

have a stain on the back of their pants

their zipper is down

have toilet paper stuck to their shoe (or anywhere else for that matter)

have their dress tucked into their hose

have ink on their face

have lipstick on their teeth

need to (errr..) blow their nose

This is a big deal if you are the person with the thing on your face or pants – whatever. You know that you would appreciate the awkwardness someone else braved to spare you additional future embarrassment, frustration or anger. If there is a problem, it’s really better for everyone concerned to just come out and say it. In the end, it benefits everyone involved.

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