Top 10 Things you’ll never hear an Architect say

Bob Borson —  April 7, 2011 — 95 Comments

Architects are cliché and are easily defined by stereotypes. Everyone knows it – even the client – so there is no sense in fighting it. See if you have ever said any of the following things:

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1) I’ll be home early tonight

2) I really should add some black clothing to my wardrobe, I wear too much color

3) Everything is going perfectly on your project

4) Your building is ahead of schedule and under budget

5) This will be my second vacation this year

6) You should listen to the contractor – he has fantastic design ideas

7) You have way too much money budgeted for this project

8 ) I learned everything I ever needed to know in college

9) I didn’t spend enough time in school

10) Designing that project was super easy, took almost no time at all

11) I can’t believe they pay me this much for so little work

12) I’m not much of a book reader

13) Just cut that tree down, there are plenty of trees all over this neighborhood

14) That’s okay, nobody will notice it besides me so you can leave it that way

15) I’ve never been wrong but you can just add a lamp later if you think it will be dark

16) I think I will get the eyeglasses with the silver frames, you’ll hardly notice them on my face

17) I am going to reduce my fees since this project is so straight forward

18) They are hiring me for my artistic abilities and don’t care how much it costs

19) At this rate, I’ll be able to retire by the time I’m 50 years old

20) I get to spend most of the fee actually designing the project

21) It’s having all the groupies that makes being an architect so rewarding

22) There should really be more codes to govern this

23) Most Planning and Zoning Departments have really got it all figured out

24) Which car should I drive to work today

25) I don’t think there is enough glass block in this project – work in some more

26) The idea of living in a house I designed sounds terrible

27) I think we should pull in some more consultants and get their opinion

28) Speculative development is the best because you can do whatever you want

29) I hate talking about architecture, I work on that crap all day

30) I don’t see ‘Zombies’ on your programming requirements

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Do you think I missed any? Add them in the comment section -

(By the way, if for some reason this post resonates with you, you might also enjoy ‘When you are an Architect…‘ I put together back in January)

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  • Glenn

    After reading all that, it hit me that exceeded 10 things, I guess 10 isn’t enough. Hahaha. I got something to add – “I don’t need coffee, I’m completely wide-awake.”

  • suj mishra

    Zero confirming RFIs

  • Jakael Khairul

    “My client is a genius!” :D

    • Glenn

      i wouldn’t say this, but i want to. hahaha.

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  • Sean

    “The project has gone through some scope increases and late design changes, so here’s our proposal for additional fees.”

  • Baron

    Spooky. As if I had written it myself.

  • GS Fulton

    How about, “I love these really cheap ballpoint pens, you can get 25 in a package! “

  • Ray Kenyon

    I remember an American starchitect being asked (many years ago), “What would you do if someone gave you a million dollars?” He answered, “I would practise architecture until it was all gone.”

  • Mattsy

    31) Sorry, my mistake

  • http://www.facebook.com/shawnda.rixey Shawnda Rixey

    i have another one to add….
    I am done!!

  • Liz Ashmore

    all buildings should be listed-it really helps to speed things up

  • Ionlywearblack

    That architect got every detail right, I wouldn’t change anything about their building.

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  • Bradenaia

    I have actually said #24
    and done the following.
    Hey the new Lord of the rings is out. So Thursday is firm movie trip.

  • Brian Boatright

    I really enjoy your blog… but maybe I need to start a counterpoint one:  why I am disillusioned about being an architect.  Thanks for your humor and your optimism.

  • http://www.facebook.com/okram2k Marko Fithian

    I’m going to keep my list of ten things to only ten things?

    • http://www.lifeofanarchitect.com Bob Borson

      what can I say … I like to under promise and over deliver

  • Mill_jr

    I’m sure the contractor will read the “General Notes” sheet.

  • ArchStudent

    Engineers totally deserve more credit. They do everything.

  • Oldpuck81

    Hang on, I really want to figure out this cool detail so the Contractor can build it.

  • Help, I’m in HELL

    What do you mean, people don’t wear bow ties anymore?

  • I’m in HELL

    Okay, I admit it, I have O.C.D. and need some help. Now please tell me if there is a hyphen in “micromanager”.

  • Also in hell

    I think we should hire some more grown-up female licensed architects for our staff instead of young female interns.

    • Amy Laffey-Cregar

      Totally offended by this!!! Let me guess women hate working with you.

      • Amy Laffey-Cregar

        How about… I am really glad that that lazy, idiot alpha male makes more money than me when I work harder. I think it is great that he dumps all his crap work on the young female interns who smile to his face and really want to punch him in the face.

  • Help, I’m in HELL

    Sure, we don’t have to chase all ten RFPs at once; I know you don’t want to work on Christmas day.

  • meh

    hey it’s Friday, let’s knock off early and grab a beer cos there’s not much work to be done