What are you carrying?

On March 29, 2011, in Blog, Life in General, Observations, by Bob Borson

Are architect’s sentimental as a stereotype? What about men? I only ask because I am both and I am trying to decide if I am safely within the school or am I swimming against the current. I am not terribly sentimental on the whole and I do not have a lot of clutter in my life. There are very few things that I find precious and I generally don’t keep mementos of places I’ve been, things I’ve done or people I’ve met.

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Inner Bob: Hold on a minute Mr. McBigfatliarpants! You do too! You have all that sort of stuff!

Me: What are you talking about. I go places and see all sorts of things and I don’t buy stuff to remind me of my trip. I don’t think taking photos counts either before you try pulling that one on me.

Inner Bob: What about … (using inner-inner voice, looking around at the space between my ears and seeing nothing) … the BOX?

Me: Hey hey hey!! You know your not suppose to mention the (whispering and spelling)   B   O   X  -   besides, that’s for when I have been shipped off to some home and I need to remember that people used to like me.

Inner Bob: Yeah – that’s the purpose of everyone’s BOX. You aren’t the only one who has one.

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Okay, I’ll admit it – I have a box and it’s a nice box -

  • It’s leather
  • It’s perfectly square
  • The lid is attached to the bottom part and hinged
  • The interior is lined

Just the sort of box an architect would have (a testament to my wife’s attention to details since she is the one who got it for me in the first place).

The question is what do I put in there? Is there some criteria, some undefinable aspect to a thing that either makes it worthy of keeping or not? Is it dependent on the size of the box? Eventually you either run out of space or you have to get another box. What makes the cut? Is it first come first served (saved) until it’s full and then sayonara to the mementos of my late 40′s and beyond?

I don’t know the answer to these questions which it probably why I’m not terribly sentimental in the first place. Because I am either

  1. emotionally lazy (that would be the “man” part I alluded to in the opening sentence), or
  2. I feel a need to not have unnecessary clutter (… that would be the architect part).

My initial response when I heard the question “What are you carrying?” was “… a bunch of crap.”

So why can’t a throw this stuff away? Is it possible that I kept these things thinking that when I was older, this would be the evidence my child would have that her Dad was more than just her Dad? While I am not terribly old, the origins of my collection pre-date the common man’s Internet. Now I know that my daughter can do a search on her old man and find (as of March 28, 2010 12:20pm) almost 7,000 links, not to mention that she will have access to every post I have ever written.

So why keep it? What could be in there?

Actually, that stuff is pretty important. 31 hernia inducing pounds of letters, cards, diplomas, diaries, date books and photos …. I think I need another box.

Cheers

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Today’s topic was brought to you as part of a series called a “blog off” where several people are given a topic and subject title and they all write on that topic on the same day. It’s a fun exercise given the loose parameters that are established. Feel free to swing by any of these other participants web sites to see what spin they put on today’s topic.

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  • http://bluecollarradionetwork.com James Dibben

    You do need another box!

    I need to get something like that box going. I’ve got some great stuff that my kids have done over the years that I need to be sure to hang on to.

    Your kids may be able to ‘internet search’ you but nothing replaces being able to sift through items that belonged to your parents and grandparents.

    Great post!

  • http://www.lifeofanarchitect.com Bob Borson

    Thanks James –

    I have this one box of stuff but my wife has smaller ones that are full of stuff my daughter has created every year. . I can only imagine how much fun my daughter will have going through all this stuff.

  • http://bluecollarradionetwork.com James Dibben

    Haha, we have so many plastic tubs in our garage with stuff our kids have made. If it wasn’t for those boxes I could park the van in there!

  • http://www.kitchenandresidentialdesign.com Paul Anater

    Mine box is a jar but the point remains the same. No matter how much clutter I try to purge, there are just some things that are too precious to discard.

  • http://www.lifeofanarchitect.com Bob Borson

    I tend to keep the things that show some sort of evolution or required great effort to achieve of document (diplomas and certain types of letters for instance). I have also included some old sketchbooks and journals – like a diary but not private.

    Truth be told, if I had a rock, I would forget where I got it eventually.

    Thanks for commenting Paul.

  • Ebarchdesign

    Oh dear, after everything I said about not being sentimental about things, I have to admit… I have a drawer (not a box) filled with the same: Notebooks, sketchbooks, doodles, stories I’ve written. What are you doing giving away our dirty secrets like that???

  • http://www.lifeofanarchitect.com Bob Borson

    These aren’t dirty secrets! These are my treasures and I would want someone to run into my burning – eminent structural failure – house to get this box. If I was smart instead of just good looking, I would transfer these things to a fire safe.

    I think I know what I’ll be doing this weekend…

  • http://twitter.com/RigginsConst Riggins Construction

    I love it! I should get a nice box for my mementos, too. That way I would be forced to re-prioritize and only keep what fits in the box.

  • http://www.lifeofanarchitect.com Bob Borson

    That’s probably not a bad idea. There is some stuff in there that doesn’t seem as emotionally valuable to me as it once did – certainly not in comparison with some of the new stuff being created. If I converted the 2 VHS tapes to DVDs of my wifes sonograms that would free up some room for sure.

    Cheers and thanks for commenting.

  • http://twitter.com/chamwashere Chamois Green

    My mother has a filing cabinet of my and my brother’s crap. Our “masterpieces” from second grade, etc. It’s actually pretty embarrassing. I may have to start a small fire. And get her a new cabinet with more prudently selected articles.

  • http://47thoughts.blogspot.com LisaS

    If one box is all you have, bravo. I have a dresser drawer–a large dresser drawer–full of sketchbooks alone, not to mention any of that other stuff. And if the boxes & boxes of stuff we inherited from the (architect) Husband’s (architect) grandfathers is any indication, we are & always have been … Sentimental. That’s a nice way to say it.

  • http://www.lifeofanarchitect.com Bob Borson

    ‘I’ have a single box, my wife has several. Don’t get the wrong idea, my box is full of my personal things while the collection of boxes from my wife actually are mostly things from our daughter.

    Yes, I like sentimental over other possible words as well.

    Thanks for sharing – it would be interesting to know what two generations of architects had that they felt was worth saving and passing along. Probably some really interesting stuff.

    Cheers

  • http://www.lifeofanarchitect.com Bob Borson

    What you call crap she would call treasure. I can see it in our future – it seems every milestone from our daughter is a treasure but take it out of context (like looking at a drawing from a 4 year old when she is 25) it just seems like a bad drawing. Parents have the luxury of placing such items in a timeline of development and because of that, we can remember how proud we were when she started to do things like hold a crayon.

    One day you might experience this for yourself – Rich might want that day to be a little further off though…

  • dandi

    Can I ask where you bought the box, thanks:)

  • http://www.lifeofanarchitect.com Bob Borson

    Dandi,

    I would love to tell you except I don’t know where my wife bought it. I can tell you that she was going to buy another one but they were no longer available.

    Sorry

  • dandi

    Thank you for your detailed answer. I guess I will continue looking ….
    p.s. I love your writing

  • Andrea

    Yeah I have a ‘box’ or ten…..  My grandfather made me a ‘hope’ chest when I was little and as I never had any hope, I put memories in it so everything from birth to grade 12.  Since Grade 12 I have accumulated several boxes for varying degrees of sentimental items.  Never mind I do collect postcards so I have at least two boxes of just postcards.  I do purge out occaissionally but still have too much.