Avoid the Madness – Laying Out Tile

June 13, 2016 by 30 Comments

The curse of being an architect strikes again … every day starts off with a small slice of madness served up to me in my shower. It is important to mention that I did not design or build this shower myself – it came to me this way when I bought my new home. Apparently I am destined to have odd showers in my life (don’t know what I’m talking about? You should read this: Master Bath Shower – You Displease Me) and while my new shower deserves its own post pointing out the new level of shower crazy that I have to deal with, I don’t feel like inflicting you with that level of insanity.

But just a little insanity never hurt anyone, right? Brace yourself –

First, I should apologize for subjecting you to this image … nobody needs to see me straddling a toilet, but I don’t know how else to explain this weirdness. Basically, I have “His + Her” Master bathroom that shares a single shower. As a result, the shower has an entry from both sides of the bathroom – pretty straightforward so far, right? The weirdness was that this shower didn’t have any doors that would provide visual privacy between the His and the Her sides of the bathroom. What this means is that if you sit on one of the toilets, you can see through the shower to the other toilet.

Awkward.

In defense of this spatial layout, you do have to tilt about 10° off center in order to make toilet-to-toilet eye contact. As much as I love my wife, and as comfortable as we have become during the 21 years that we’ve been married, I don’t want to be that comfortable.

So, there’s a little quick background data to help set the conversation up regarding the tile madness that is my master shower … it’s just another log on the “Bob Borson Master Bathroom” madness fire.

The picture above is from me sitting on the floor in the shower and looking up. The shower isn’t very large – about 4′ long and 3′ wide. With a little effort, you will notice 3 things wrong with the picture above. First, the light isn’t centered in the shower. Secondly, the shower head isn’t centered in the wall (which is kind of a big deal considering that the midpoint is only 24″ away from the opening under ideal circumstances). Lastly, the door openings aren’t the same size OR aligned across from one another. I have shaded the misalignment in red above to help you see the difference.

Seriously?!?

So, I took these pictures this morning sitting/slumping on the shower floor with my wide-angle lens – sorry for the distortion but it simply couldn’t be avoided. Do you see how the tile joints don’t align … anywhere!

I have rotated around on the floor and I’m now looking at the ceiling and the wall opposite the shower head. More tile misalignment in my shower … and more therapy in my future.

Why? Seriously, pick a line and simply stick with it – how hard can this be? I don’t install tile for a living … I don’t even install tile for a hobby but even I could do a better job than this. Anyone with eyeballs could do a better job than this.

Anyone with eyeballs could do a better job than this.

No explanation is required. If this was one of my projects, I would simply point at this tile madness and say “Tear it out. This is crap and you know it”. Luckily, I don’t currently work with any contractors who would try this sort of thing. Nobody gets to try this sort of thing twice in my world. This is a “one and done” sort of offense.

Even the bits that are wrong have variable degrees of wrongness to them. At least if you’re going to suck, shouldn’t you try to suck consistently? Maybe that’s asking too much, but it does set the table for the rest of this ~~rant~~ post. How tile gets laid is a big deal to me – it’s an indication of your character and I will be looking at it with a critical eye. This is one of those skills that really sets the tone for the entire project – as a contractor, you either care about your work or you don’t. If your tile works sucks, you don’t have it … and without “it”, I don’t want you working on one of my jobs.

That having been said – What do we do about it in my office? Well, we actually draw the tile AND grout lines (the actual thickness) and we work out how we want the tile to course out. We are going through this process on our cabin project and will be issuing drawings to the contractor that will graphically indicate the layout we want to see.

The original construction drawings indicated a tile pattern for scope, but we didn’t have the tile selections in place at the time they were issued. Now that we know that we are using a tile that is 11 5/8″ x 23 3/8″ and we want grout lines that are 1/8″ thick, we actually drew the actual tile and grout size. It would have been simple enough to draw a 12″ x 24″ tile and get close but if we are going to the trouble in the first place, might as well take advantage of the computers accuracy and draw everything actual size.

These drawings are a work in progress and they only exist to show the contractor the tile pattern – all the other project data has been removed.

This isn’t the most challenging of tile patterns to layout – we don’t deviate from this horizontal tile pattern – but we do want the horizontal datum line to make sense. We want the horizontal grout lines to work out with low walls and counter tops, and we don’t want grout lines to interfere with light switches and outlets.

Once the horizontal grout lines have been set (in our case, at 40″ above the floor), all that’s left is to work out the horizontal grout lines in each elevation. I don’t have a problem with tiles not being located symmetrically on the wall – nor do I need to wrap the tile pattern from one wall to the adjacent walls uninterrupted. What’s most important is that the items that are on each wall fall within the tile placement in a way that makes sense. In the next picture, you’ll see exactly what I’m talking about.

This particular bathroom is intended to get heavy use from a lot of people coming in from an afternoon of swimming in the lake. As a result, we don’t have towel bars, we have wall hooks to hang the towels up. We set the tile placement in order for the hooks to fall exactly within each tile – because that’s why you take the time to draw the tile patterns in elevation.

I do want to go on record to say that we don’t always go to this level of documentation on every project. There are some contractors that we’ve worked with repeatedly over the years and we have become familiar with their level of attention to detail. The contractor that builds my playhouses is also the contractor that built the KHouse Modern and this house (which needs a name, if you are so inclined) and was featured in the post titled “Pride – Is it Really One of the 7 Deadly Sins?” (which ironically was the very first post I ever wrote about tile layout). But we work with a lot of different contractors and until we know what we’ve got to work with, drawing the tile patterns just seems like the smart thing to do.

Happy alignment!

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Chris Cormier
Tile layouts are often my baby at the firm, I have the right level of neurosis/attention to detail. Every tile is measured and then added to our 3d model with accurate grout lines as well. I love completing a project and then going on site to realize that you never even notice a grout line, you just “get” the space.
Benny
From someone who worked at a tile warehouse – A tiler didn’t do this, someone who thought tiling would be easy did it. This is the kind of thing you’d see if someone ran short of tiles to complete a job and either couldn’t match them or couldn’t be bothered buying more so they kept cutting up tiles that had already been cut to use somewhere else and they applied the leftovers as best they could to complete the work. Amateurs who aren’t proficient with a tile cutter will make the situation worse. If it’s (more) terrible at one end than the other this would be a giveaway. As to the room layout you would hope if a first diagram of this was in front of a drafter or architect they’d just go ‘what?
Still, good excuse for the remodel, you’d get bored if it was perfect!
- Bob Borson
  at first I thought this was probably the evidence of a weekend warrior overreaching – but the entire shower is completely symmetrical in it’s madness. The execution is only a small part of the issue, the biggest problem is that the decisions where to start and finish were poor. Eventually I’ll have to deal with it … eventually.
  - Benny
    Something else you might have to deal with eventually: What if Captain Super-Genius who laid the tiles also put the glue, waterproofing (or not-waterproofing) & screed down over whatever lies underneath all that, like maybe three other layers of tiles or floorboards enjoying not-waterproofing?
    - Bob Borson
      In cases like this, I would assume that the entire thing needs to be scraped and it would be taken back down to the studs. The underlayment is small potatoes compared to the cost of the tile and labor to install – why stop at 95%?
well_Duhhhhhh
In my last bath renovation I drew every tile in every elevation, AND included a series of isometric sketches of how the corners were to be joined, how the niches were to be laid out, and how the metal trims were to be installed. There’s still one spot where the wainscot meets the full height tile that was installed in the wrong “order”, forcing the shower controls and heads all 5/8″ off center. It plagues me to this day. My wife thinks I’m nuts.
- Bob Borson
  hard to argue with your wife – we are nuts
Gene
Bob, you are so fixated on the joints that you failed to mention the tile itself which looks like it has a bad case of mange. Benjamin Moore makes a good paint that actually works on tile. Pick a nice light color and when the whole shower is painted the joints will fade enough to save on eye strain and sanity.
Since it looks like this shower is about midway between the His and Hers bathrooms I am guessing that are probably closets abutting the shower. Sacrifice part of one closet (yours obviously) and make a nice new shower big enough to swing a cat. Divide the cost by the number of years you think these joints will get your day of to a good start, and it will probably be less than a cup of coffee per day.
- Bob Borson
  I’m going to put your plan into action (and yes, it would actually be my closet that takes the hit. No big deal, I wear the same 3 pieces of clothing day after day)
AlmostJane
Wow, and I thought the Cinnamon Toast Crunch bathroom was messed up. You, sir, have most surely offended the Bathroom gods somehow – LOL.
Seriously, when I see poor-quality work like this anywhere – and sadly I’m seeing more of it as time goes by – I always think that things would be better if we all, somehow, had our names permanently attached to our work. Just an idea but… if we knew our names would be permanently attached to the work we produce, we’d be sure to produce work in which we could take pride. Like the end titles of a movie, where who did what for every minute aspect of film production is listed. It would actually be very do-able, even easy, in architecture and construction. Small tags mounted in unobtrusive places throughout a house. House designed by A. Flooring installed by B. Millwork built and installed by C and so on. Something tells me you’d have a very different-looking shower if the name of the gomer responsible was mounted alongside it.
- Bob Borson
  there’s probably something to that idea – but good luck getting anybody to agree. One of the challenges in the construction gig is that everybody’s work is somewhat reliant on the guy before them properly doing their job. If the framer builds a crooked wall, everything that follows is going to be off – and I’m not sure that the guy that comes after always has the financial resources to fix other people’s problems.
  - AlmostJane
    Oh, I’m well aware that this idea is in not functionally-feasible – for a zillion reasons. For now it’s just on my “When I Rule the World” list, and fun to think about. Sadly, I have to say I think the number of people who really care about doing quality work is not that high. More and more it seems that most people are willing to do only as much as they absolutely must, and no more.
- CC Hampton
  my recollection, alluding to the idea I read this somewhere but don’t recall where, is Rolls Royce grills are constructed by one individual craftsman who signs his work. If the grill is damaged it is sent back to that craftsman that built it for repair. Rolls Royce appears to represent the cost of accountability.
Kaśka
I honestly think it was either someone who took very little for this job/ was angry at owner (retailer, whoever)/ the owner oneself, having ho previous experience. I’m guessing the last option since sometimes you need to do a job and can’t afford a specialist.
Because, from my own experience, if it isn’t public contract that picks construction company by cheapest price, setters are so very much detail oriented when it comes to their tiles and lines and everything. I remember even once I had to argue for few hours, that YES, I wanted those tiles off for that very specific effect.
Gary Farquhar
A revelation for Architects everywhere!
If you fail to communicate (not just draw, print and issue) your design and design intent, you will be lucky to realise your vision and you will fail! I doubt very much if the plumber or the tiler were given any drawings in the first place and, some very superseeded information at best. I have seen it time and time again.
Yours
Construction Contracts Manager.
- Bob Borson
  Thanks Gary – too right that drawings like these need to be followed up with by having a quick conversation with the people who need to know the expectations and the goals. The fact that we’ve gone to the effort to document the actual tile AND grout size from a math standpoint, the likelihood that the room is built to the exact same dimensional tolerance as our construction drawings is unlikely. Understanding what we are looking to achieve is the most important part of this process.
Gene
When it was still affordable we did lots of exposed concrete structure and walls. One full CD sheet dealt with how things, ties, reglets, rustication joints, outlets, T-stats, switches, finishes, and how they where to be located and done. Even though some frown on it we also drew examples of “how not” to do (means and methods) regarding alignment and finishes. I “does” get the contractors attention from the very beginning, and there were no arguments like “well I thought this would be okay or close enough”. I may have added a little to the cost, but it avoided lots of back and forth with the contractor and/or tearing out, and in the long run the cost and time spent balances out.
Sometimes just drawing what you want is not enough.
- Bob Borson
  this is something that I know – and probably all practicing architects – understand. Just because we drew it, doesn’t mean it’s going to get built that way. In addition, even though you have the documentation to support the claim that it wasn’t done properly and as documented that the contractor will have to tear it out and start over – does not necessarily mean that that will happen either. Frequently the negative work not only includes the poor work, but also the lost time to do something more than once, and when the owner wants their house sooner rather than later, I don’t always get my way.
  Knowing this is also part of the reason I don’t judge other architects work too harshly – I don’t know what they were responsible for, and what they could not control.
Stefan Hurray
What about installing frosted glass shower doors to your joint shower at home? Would have the added benefit of hiding the crappy tile job from both sides. Also could install slab sill & jambs if you feel like going all out.
- Bob Borson
  we ordered frosted doors before we took possession of the house and got them installed about a month after moving in. The privacy issues have been dealt with – now it’s all about those tile joints.
Kerry Hogue
Bob, honestly. I think you do this to yourself on purpose. I mean what kind of demented soul drives around the metroplex looking at houses intentionally trying to find, then purchase, a house with a severely messed up bathroom. Get a grip will you?
- Bob Borson
  what can I say – I like the thrill!
Mark Mc Swain
Whenever I see a “haphazard” (for want of a better term) tile job it always makes me wonder.
The tile setters I have met, by and large, are not doltish buffoons bent only “making their eight” and going home. They like alignment, they like things like having suts buried in a corner or a less-visible joint.
So, when I see a project that looks like a different tilesetter started at each edge and corner, and on different days, it does make me wonder.
Now, in my experience, tilesetters do have a vice. Because of their specialty, they know it intimately, sometimes at the expense of knowing how the infrastructure that they work from is created. So, they will start from whatever base is there and try to accomplish their work. Instead of going back to the GC and saying, “Hey, y’know this door jamb is not packed out square” (or is misaligned, or whatever), they just try and make the tile work.
Which is tough sledding, as tile is rather inflexible, it really “wants” planar surfaces that are plumb and square.
I have seen some slight success where the GC shifts the underlayment away from framers and over to the tilesetters. It’s an imperfect answer, but one that can elp prevent “just tile what you got.”
- Bob Borson
  some of the better contractors I work with build slightly larger in areas that require tile so that the tile setter can add mortar to square things up and modify openings so that they can control their scope of work a bit better. Even then, it doesn’t help if the niche’s drawn do not work out with the tile selected – especially when the tile isn’t selected at a time when the framers are on site doing their scope of work.
  Some tile jobs look like they were done by weekend warriors who don’t have the experience to consider more than one surface when they decide to set that first tile. Everybody has a first day on the job – and that’s okay – I just don’t want it to look like that first day was on my job.
James Fullton
Someone once told me, “architecture is the art of lining things up.” 🙂
- Bob Borson
  all we need now is to make the leap to “construction is the art of lining things up”
03306028
You could have alternately titled this WHY ATTENTION TO DETAIL MATTERS (with a series of trailing [EXPLETIVE DELETED]s).
It makes me feel less crazy to know I’m not the only one that is completely unnerved by this kind of thing. Awesome to see that you’ll take the time when it’s needed to get it right the first time.
Also, it always staggers me to see an implemented design where toilet privacy hasn’t been taken into consideration. What you’ve got going on there is a little bonkers.
- Bob Borson
  totally bonkers. Luckily, the addition of shower doors with privacy film on it took care of the visual issues but the tile alignment issues will sadly remain for the time being.
  - stuart
    If it was me sitting on the throne looking at those grout lines every day, I would have to sledge hammer it all away (or move). I am the kind of guy who thinks it is worth filling out the wall with another layer of backing to get less cut tiles and symmetry. Makes a prebuilt shower unit seem almost like the way to go…
    - Bob Borson
      I totally agree … where should I let you know where to send you contribution to the “redo Bob’s master shower” fund?

Avoid the Madness – Laying Out Tile

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