I have been cooped up in this house working from home for so many days I’ve lost track of what day it is today. I’m not sure if anyone will ever find or read this diary so I will hide you here under my body so that you will remain protected after I’ve died and my body is discovered. Somebody tell my story …
Things are improving day by day, or maybe I’ve just become accustomed to my circumstances at this point. Luckily there is still plenty of food and toilet paper and somehow, there’s actually more alcohol in the house than ever … not sure how that happened considering the rate at which it is being consumed. I suspect my frequent trips to the liquor store have something to do with that but at this point, I can’t be sure.
I was sent an image the other day – someone did a screengrab of me during one of our teleconferences along with the question: “Exactly how cold is it in your house?” It’s actually not cold at all but I am discovering that if I hide my neck, people can’t tell just how much I’ve let myself go over the last several weeks. I decided that it isn’t in my best interest to climb onto the scale during this time period – I’m afraid of what I might learn – it’s assuredly worse than I care to imagine. Did I mention that I am considering cutting my own hair with my beard clippers?
I also get a lot of comments about the background in all of my video calls since it looks like I’m sitting in my bedroom … mostly because I AM sitting in my bedroom. This room is actually where I have spent 90% of my time since I started working from home. I do leave it on occasion (i.e. aforementioned trips to the liquor store) but probably not as much as a licensed therapist would recommend.
Oh yeah, that reminds me – I should point out that it was my birthday a few days ago. There was, of course, a majestic feast involved with roast fowl and bottomless goblets of wine, but we were held captive within the boundaries of my house/office. Interaction with people through means other than “digital” has become greatly reduced. I attempted meaningful conversation with my neighbor – aka we shouted at each other across “The Driveway Moat” – but with limited success.
Bob: Hey! What’s up?
Neighbor: Nothing. Abso-f*$!ing-lutely nothing. You?
Bob: Same other than working. I did drink some margaritas last night for no reason. Spent $60 bucks on a to-go order that was just margaritas. What have you been doing to pass the time?
Neighbor: I watched the entire 3rd season of ‘Star Trek: Next Generation’ in one sitting. I didn’t get up once other than to go to the kitchen for snacks.
Bob: I finished the internet last night.
Neighbor: Sweet – that’s on my to-do list. Are those new pajama pants? Those ones look plaid, are they plaid?
Bob: These? Yeah, they’re plaid. They’re all plaid.
Neighbor: I’m going to attempt a half-marathon running laps in my living room today. I think I’m putting on some excess weight … like 20 lbs or so.
Bob: Really? What snacks are you currently eating? I’m looking for something new.
Neighbor: That’s your takeaway from me running a half marathon in my living room? Mostly cheez-its.
Bob: Speaking of cheese, I tried melting cheese directly in a skillet last night just like a video I saw on Instagram … it was an ad for a skillet.
Neighbor: Everybody on Instagram has seen that video. How’d it go?
Bob: I burnt it and it stuck to the pan … I don’t have that particular pan – maybe I should buy it. I did put some Fiery Hot Cheetos in the last one.
Neighbor: Really? Maybe I’ll try that instead of the “running laps” thing.
Bob: Good talk. I’m going to go inside, standing here is exhausting.
Diary, you and I have known each other for a long time so I feel comfortable in telling you that my days and nights are all starting to blur together. I don’t really know what day it is without looking at my work calendar, and that’s only to see how many teleconferencing calls I might have that day. FYI – More than three means I have to take a shower. There is no distinction between the weekend and the work week … it’s all work week now. The good news is that keeping busy helps the time pass … the bad part is that I can’t tell when to stop because let’s be honest … what else am I going to do?
Some interesting patterns of behavior have started to emerge as this prolonged “Work from Home” situation continues. I find that because the line separating workweek from weekend has become completely blurred. I pretty much work – which I actually like doing – just to have something to do other than watch TV. Look, the actual “work” part is going fine, in some ways it’s going great. Since there isn’t a whole lot of extracurricular activities to actually do, I find myself sitting at my desk for far longer periods of time. And in true “architect” fashion, there isn’t anything that I can’t spend just a bit more time to make better and as a result, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing.
My daughter took this picture of me the other night – pretty sure she should have been in bed because it was the dead of night. She went into the backyard and took this picture looking into the room where I’ve set up shop. I think she liked how my face was lit up but all I really see is … well, I suppose I don’t need to actually spell it out, everyone will know exactly what I’m talking about.
I also recorded a podcast the other day, that was fun. And by “fun” I mean I didn’t hate it. Remembering my recording schedule over the past few weeks has been surprisingly difficult. Normally Andrew Hawkins (he’s my co-host on the podcast) and I try to have these episodes recorded two weeks before they get published but lately, that seems almost impossible to pull off.
Pretty much everyone has been working out of their homes lately and almost every single one that I’ve spoken with has mentioned to me that this time period has gone completely different than how they expected it to go. I’m not going to lie in my diary so confessing that I thought I was going to have time to watch pretty much every movie ever made seemed like a real possibility. There were times where I imagine all the new hobbies I was going to try out – maybe workout like 5 hours a day and finally drop those last few pounds. NONE of those things have happened. I’ve started to think that I will need to return to the office just so my work/life balance will fall back into some sort of equilibrium … but I’m not so sure that this is going to happen. Not the returning to work part – that’s totally going to happen. In fact, we have started discussing the protocols for returning. It’s going to be crazy!
Until next time Diary …