Some questions, as soon as I become aware of them, sit in the front of my brain and simply won’t go away until I do something about them. In this case, the question I have been thinking about for the last several weeks is actually about asking questions.
Why is it that people don’t seem to know how to ask questions anymore? Maybe I should clarify this just a bit – I suppose it’s the follow-up questions that people seem to forget.
Maybe it’s both.
What planted this seed of thought is that Architectural interns are out in force and I am looking at more than my fair share of emails, resumes, and portfolios. While the skill range varies wildly between individuals, I am typically looking for things that elevate a candidate’s position beyond how good they are at architecture. Sounds silly to a point but most of the time, our interns are contributing to projects, not leading them. To that end, there are other skills that come into play other than the things they have been learning in architecture school. First and foremost, I will tell you that the single greatest trait I look for in a co-worker and collaborator, is someone who is good at asking questions.
Most young people think that by asking questions, they are exposing just how little they might actually know, and that seems like a bad idea seeing how the ink on your business cards is still wet. It also stands to reasons that constantly asking questions and exposing your actual knowledge might reduce your value in the eyes of the people around them.
If this sounds like you, and you think this way, I am here to say you couldn’t be further from the truth. Folks that have been around the block a few times will tell you that asking questions is the first step to understanding something of value. Most employers hiring young people realize that they are potential and raw mental computing power. There are times (probably more than I even realize) when people in my own office get frustrated that I don’t really answer a lot of their questions. Based on their body language and the subsequent eye rolls, they think I don’t know that they simply want to ask their question, have me tell them what exactly what I want them to do, so that they can put their headphones back on and crank out the required drawings. Guess what? I don’t know all the answers to your questions … normally it’s because I am asking someone to do something I haven’t done before – I have tasked them with solving the problem. I am well aware of the fact that I could simply figure it out, tell them exactly what I need them to do and move on … but what good does that do for their long-term development? They ask a question and I typically asked them a question right back. Or I tell a story about a leprechaun or something and THEN I start asking them questions that will eventually lead back to some realization and course of direction.
I know this post is about asking questions, but it’s about the process of asking questions. In my world, nothing is a linear process – everything is a balance of push and pull. Asking questions is a skill and it takes time to develop. The only way you’ll get better is by … asking questions. Funny how that works. Questions have their own sort of ebb and flow to them, the question asking process when designing is fluid and having the ability to respond in real-time with follow-up questions based on the information you are collecting is critical.
Asking questions is fundamental to successful communication, and gathering information as a product of asking questions is a basic human activity. Everybody has this skill set at some level, but like all things, some people are better at it than others. Questions and the resulting answers provide us with the information we need to aid in the decision-making process. Questions help us understand each other. Questions encourage further thought – or at least get someone to think about something in a more substantive way. In my office, I view asking questions as a way to encourage participation, but after enough eye-rolling and heavy sighing, I tend to relent a little bit.
Ask more questions.
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There are no stupid questions as long as: 1. The person is asking the right questions. Those that seek to bring out new knowledge hitherto unknown (to them or others). 2. The person being asked doesn’t make it difficult by ‘rolling their eyes’ when a question is posed. This can be portrayed via the body language of the person being asked. So somewhere within this spectrum 1 to 2 is the right environment for asking and getting answers for questions without becoming a nuisance (to oneself or others). And as you say sir, this asking of the right questions is an art which others do well, while others can attain by learning. I represent the other dimension of the built environment. I am a builder (the interpreter of architects’ designs). Your posts help me understand better the built environment from the perspective of the architect (the designer)
wonderful – glad you are here.
Asking the wrong question can eventually lead to the right ones so I don’t want to present myself as someone who doesn’t recognize this process. Hopefully those in a leadership position realize that they should strive to create an atmosphere where asking questions is seen as a good thing.
True. Atmosphere is probably one of the most important ingredients in this interaction.
I’ve really enjoyed your past posts, and your insight is often spot-on. However, this post veers dangerously into “Kids These Days!” territory; declaring there are no stupid questions followed by illustrations of stupid (or more suggestive, lazy) questions makes me wonder if the interns in your office aren’t asking questions not because they don’t know how, but because you may not be as approachable as you think.
I could not agree with you more that questions must be asked, all the time – it’s the only way we can learn. And I do not disagree that of course there are ignorant questions, and lazy people who don’t want to commit to the hard work of solving problems on their own. But before you dismiss each eye roll as being indicative of that person not wanting to figure it out, consider the possibility that they may be realizing they now have to spend time interpreting the meaning behind a leprechaun story.
Of course there is a “kids these days” aspect to this comment – it’s the starting premise of this article. The genesis for this article started during an interview I had with someone who wanted to come and work in the office.
There isn’t enough detail in the post for anyone to determine if I am approachable or not – I think for those that know me realize that sometimes getting the answer means having to listen to me talk about something else for a bit before I get to the meat of the answer – and when you are faced with that prospect day in and day out, it’s not that hard to conclude that sometimes, it’s just not worth it. I am okay with that – but it suggests that with a little effort, these people might actually be able to figure out the answer to their own question in the first place.
And the eye rolls are probably 100% of the time indicative of a leprechaun story … and there isn’t typically any hidden meanings, it’s just something that is tickling some corner of my brain at that particular moment.
i really enjoy the “kids these days ” aspect as i am one of them and its lovely to read about us from persons in such positions :)..
so, shall we expect more? 😉
Yes…thank you. Finally someone else gets it (I never doubted you of all people). Answers are often irrelevant to me in as much as asking the right questions is more important.
However, to get to the right question means asking many questions. The follow up question is missing from daily life and the worst offenders are the media.
So what’s next after this post? Will you share the responses? Will you grow a mustache? Will you take your family to dinner? Will you delete my post? Will we learn to read answers in people beyond the words they use? Will I go get coffee now?
there’s always more questions to ask – but I think the source of the answers would be a logical next step.
I was talking with a friend of mine the other day and he was telling me about this graduate level business class that he teaches and one of the exercises they go through is called “20 Questions”. They pair everyone up and give everyone the same initial question – the challenge is to hear the answer and then ask another question … until you get to 20. He tells me this is a lot harder then is sounds but the most interesting aspect of this exercise to to compare questions and final answers from each group. He tells me that you can easily see which group asked relevant and thoughtful questions from those that asked the wrong sort of questions. I thought I might try and go through this exercise during a company retreat – it sounds fascinating!
The premise here is good, but the presentation in flawed. You see, over th last half-century I’ve learned there are some dam stoopit questions to ask. “Sir, do you know how fast you were going?” “How much drunker can you get?” “Does [this] make my [body part] look[negative adjective]?” “what were you thinking?”
Note, what make all of those “stupid” is that you really do not wan the “real” answer to them (and you are unlikely to get a good answer, either).
Of course, the Socratic Method, of teaching by posing questions, has its limits, too–the trick is to always have some :”answer” in the responding question.
But, sometimes you just hit a brick wall: “Your fee seems pretty high. I’m going to put [project] on my blog, so it will be famous; will you work for half the fee for the free publicity?”
generally when told your fee is too high, they don’t want value, qualifications, or expertise. they want cheap. when the selection basis is fee, you should say thank you and walk away.
my first employee after graduating told me once there are two types of stupid questions. this first type is the one you do not ask. the second type is when ask the same one more than once.
the first type is the person that is too embarrassed to admit they don’t know, or are not inquisitive enough to learn. the second type demonstrates the lack of learning when the opportunities were presented.
years ago I was in charge of recruiting and when interviewing prospective employees I would tell them that we are an initiative based firm and looked to hire self starters that one day would be running the firm.
okay that first line should read “my first employer…”
Amen to this. Having been a teacher [primary level] and then administrator [university level] for close to 40 years, I’ve found I can almost always tell more about my students from the questions they ask – much more than by the answers they give. The smartest kids always seem to be the questioning kids. Why this? Why that? What if this? etc. I believe it’s vital for parents, teachers and other adults to encourage children and young people, from the very beginning, to think critically, to imagine the next step, to ask thoughtful questions and most importantly, to provide an environment that welcomes the questioning mind.
yes – it does always seem that “what comes next” part of the question asking process (the subsequent questions) prove the most insightful and provide the most opportunity for development. I hope I can instill to my daughter that asking questions is a good thing.
Without questions we would remain ignorant (not stupid). Any on with little children can’t tell how many times they have to answer “WHY?” which when they reach the teens it morphs into “Why not?”. Knowing when you don’t know something is critical to growing. If you meet someone that thinks they know it all; don’t walk but RUN.
Re: headphones – One can learn a lot by hearing what is going on around them in the office, and maybe not have to ask so may questions.
I’m glad to see you make the distinction between ignorance versus stupidity. The underlying theme in a post like this is that the process of growth is underscored by the involvement of many people. Ignorance is a lack of knowledge, not the ability to acquire that knowledge.
I can appreciate why some people wear headphones – I myself like to wear them at times to help me block out all the external stimuli from my open office. The problem comes when you don’t do anything BUT wear headphones.
The gab between university and practice could be navigated safely by an oil tanker – If they aren’t asking stupid questions then start to worry.
sometimes the questions don’t lead to answer but to more questions – which can sometimes lead to re-evaluating a process or conclusion. From my standpoint, there is no downside to asking questions (assuming that the questions come from a lack of knowledge, not a lack of effort).
I agree – there are no stupid questions but be prepared to answer your fair share of questions before you get an answer to the first.
it’s all a matter of perspective – when I am in a good mood, I call it a conversation, but when I’m in a bad mood, I tell them to come back later.