Leave your message at the tone

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They all start out the same:

“You have reached the desk of [your name here] but but unfortunately I am either on the phone or currently away from my desk. Your call is very important to me so please leave your name, number and a brief message and I will return the call as soon as possible.”

but please pay attention as some menu items may have changed:

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… for bill collections, please hang up and try your call again later

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… for design related questions, please dial 1#

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… for technical questions regarding your project, please press 2#

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… for the modern design department, please don’t press anything

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… for angst, please press 8# (and ask for Jody)

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… if you would like to schedule an appointment to discuss a new project, please press: I’llmeetyouanytimeorplace#

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… if are thinking about hiring an architect and want to know how much plans cost, please press: notthatsimple#

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… if you would like to speak to the boss, please press: callmywife#

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… if you are calling to speak to the owner of the business, please press: bigboxbanklineofcredit#

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… if you’re calling to inquire about hiring us to draw the plans that you’ve already figured out, please press: killmenow#

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… if you are calling to remit payment on a past due invoice, please press: thanksIcannowpaytherent#

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… if you are a past client calling to inquire how to change light bulb, please press: callthecontractor#

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… if you are a contractor looking to get on our bid list, please press: probablynotgoingtohappenthisway#

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… if you are a recent graduate from architecture school looking for work, please press: thingsaregettingbetter#

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… if you are calling to get a copy of the drawings to a house we already designed so you can build one just like it, please press: wedon’tdothathere#

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… if you are a vendor and would like to show us the latest and greatest product, please press: showupwithsnackstoimproveyourchances#

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… if you are calling for the model shop, please press: Iwassupposedtobeoutofherebynow#

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… if you are calling because it’s 8:00pm and my dinner is getting cold, please press: justonemorehour#

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… if you are calling from the zoning department, please press: 1#3#1#8#5#5#5#2#1#4#2#5#4#9#6#8#8#5#2#3#4#2#2

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